What's In A Name?
by Dark-Dreymer
Summary: Written for the prompt: The first time Xander refers to Giles as Rupert. Giles/Xander, with some angst and sexual content.


Rupert Giles was witnessing a miracle. Not anything of biblical proportions but certainly a miracle in its own small way; Xander Harris was being quiet.

Not silent, but certainly a whole lot quieter than Rupert would ever have expected without the young man being dead – and in Sunnydale even that wouldn't necessarily ensure Xander' silence. The only noise he was making was the slow rhythm of his breathing, bordering on light snoring, and Rupert had spent the last ten minutes listening to it with a soft smile on his face. In the latter five minutes he had reached the conclusion that his arm had most definitely fallen asleep due to the heavy weight of the body pinning it to the mattress and these five minutes had been spent mentally debating whether the loss of circulation to the limb was a big enough problem to risk the wrath of an early morning Xander Harris.

The decision was ultimately taken out of Rupert's hands as once he had finally reached his verdict Xander shifted slightly and sleepily rolled off of the afflicted appendage, sitting up with an adorably bemused expression rapidly replaced with sudden comprehension.  
"Uhm, hi Giles," Xander mumbled, his gaze downcast to the blankets he was wrapping more securely round his waist and his cheeks slightly flushed.  
With as much feline grace as Rupert could manage with one arm rapidly developing an overwhelming pins-and-needles sensation he leaned over to his bed mate and captured his lips in a soft, reassuring kiss. He remembered all too well the awkward feeling of waking in an unfamiliar bed for the first time and sought to reassure Xander that Hell was tightly contained beneath their feet and he needn't worry about it breaking loose just because he had engaged in sexual activity. "I believe," Rupert whispered as he broke the kiss, using his functioning arm to tilt Xander's chin up so the young man had to look him in the eye, "given our activity last night it would be acceptable for you to call me Rupert."  
He had kept his tone joking, flirtatious with enough sincerity for Xander to know he truly meant what he was saying, but the reaction he received was not what he had expected. Xander retreated from the embrace sharply and faced away again. Had Rupert been mistaken? Perhaps Xander's reactions were not out of insecurity but rather he'd been seeking the best way to flee. Had this past week of clumsy flirtation and stumbling kisses ultimately meant nothing more to the young man than a cheap one-night stand? Rupert felt a deep stab of pain in the center of his chest at the thought, briefly followed by a slight return in sensation to his arm.  
"I, uhm..." Xander stuttered, turning to look at Rupert again with some deep conflicted emotion shining in those chocolate brown eyes.  
Rupert gave a metaphorical sigh of relief, something was clearly troubling the young man but that at least meant this had been something deeper than one night of sex. Was that it? The sex, had Rupert gone too far; pushed Xander beyond his limits without intending to?  
"You wouldn't have to, that is to say, if you don't wish to, you could..." Rupert stumbled over his apology since he wasn't fully sure what he was apologizing for. Turning away from the young man he picked his glasses up from the bedside table.  
"No." The word was accompanied by a sudden lurch from Xander and a hand landing on Rupert's arm pulling him back round. The touch was electric, possibly due to the intense feelings Rupert was experiencing around this young man recently and possibly because Xander had grabbed the arm that was still recovering from pins-and-needles, "I want this, uh, thing with us," Xander gestured between the two of them emphatically, "It's just, uhm, well y'know Buffy and Willow don't exactly know about us and if I start calling you Rupert they're gonna know something's up and if I try switching between calling you Giles and Rupert I'll mess up and it'll all come out anyway and..."  
Rupert pressed a finger to Xander's lips, it took a few seconds for Xander to take the hint and stop babbling but once he had Giles removed it, "I see," The statement seemed a little odd in return to the run-on sentences Xander had just been spewing so Rupert felt obligated to say more, "I should have thought. You're perfectly right, just forget I said anything."  
"I could call you Rupert, if you really want me to. I'll probably mess up, but I'll try not to," Xander quickly fell back into his babble. Rupert wondered how Xander could provide an excellent reason as to why he shouldn't do something and then go entirely against it simply in an attempt to please him.  
"It's fine Xander." Another sweet, soft kiss as reassurance because it was hard to resist nibbling at that full lower lip now that he was allowed to do so, "I really don't mind."  
Xander's shy smile brightened into a full on grin as he accepted the older man's lie. In truth Rupert wasn't fully okay with being referred to by his last name; the fact that he was in something of a relationship with someone less than half his age was already enough to make him feel old without that person formally referring to him at all times, but if it was the price he had to pay to make this something of a relationship work he'd accept it.

* * *

Let the record show that Rupert Giles did not let the nature of his relationship with Xander Harris slip to Buffy Summers and Willow Rosenberg on purpose. Or at the very least not entirely on purpose. Discovering he had been left out of the loop on so much had infuriated him and that had led to a petty move; using the one piece of information he had on which they had been left out of the loop as ammunition even if it meant Xander got caught in the crossfire.

So perhaps Rupert should have been grateful when Ethan found him in some rotten bar getting drunk, when Ethan joined him and later turned him into a Fyarl demon with a hex; because it meant that the issue of his relationship with Xander was dropped, and yet for all that Rupert still couldn't find any good feelings towards the chaos-worshiper. He was however very grateful that when he and Xander were alone the younger man did not start an argument about the importance of not blurting out secrets in the middle of a friend's birthday party to score cheap points, but instead kissed him fiercely, pushed him backwards onto the couch and set about removing his shirt. When the shirt was far flung to the other side of the room however the pace suddenly slowed dramatically.  
"What are you doing?" Rupert was aware how silly the question was but 'Why did you begin to start a round of angry sex and then suddenly change tracks to gently running the tips of your fingers over my chest' was a tad too long and direct.  
"Checking for demon parts," Xander answered as if it should be obvious, there was no hint of the humor that tended to skirt the edges of the young man's voice at all times, "Turn over."  
"You can't be serious." Giles shifted upright instead of turning over.  
"I dated enough demons in high school, so if you've got scales or, or some kind of horn or something, I wanna know."  
"I can assure you I am completely human."  
"Yeah, well, I'm not the one who blew our cover so that means you're the one who's gotta make things up to me."  
"If you're mad at me you should just say it," Rupert heard his voice growing louder but couldn't seem to contain it, "instead of carrying out this childish game to try and punish me."  
"Childish?" The laughter Xander gave at the word was a cruel mockery of his normally pleasant chuckle, "Says the man who had a tantrum because he missed the latest gossip. God, you're lucky I love you."  
This last statement was muttered but the suddenness of it caught Rupert off guard, "You love me," He echoed.  
"No, I've been giving you head because I like you as a friend." Xander's overly sarcastic comment was dripping with acid and he seemed more confident than he usually was when discussing their relationship. Rupert recalled the ill-fated romance of Xander and Cordelia and began to wonder if the young man was better versed in aggression than compassion.  
"I see." Emotionally stunned Rupert sank back down onto the couch and remained tight-lipped as Xander traced his back, paying particular attention to his spine. When instructed to he removed his shoes and jeans allowing Xander to feel up each leg for any irregularity; each time Xander stopped short of Rupert's underwear.

"Do I pass?" The question was mumbled without a hint of a smile.  
Xander stayed silent for a moment or so, appraising Rupert's face before nodding slightly, "I guess."  
Standing up Xander stood before his de-robed lover with his arms folded in a clearly defensive posture; Rupert felt paralyzed and from Xander's lack of movement it appeared he felt so too. It was as if the room was on freeze-frame and Rupert was searching desperately for the words that could fix it and yet as he wracked his mind he found himself recalling a conversation with a Xander very much different to the one stood before him; one with a wide smile and laughter in his voice, "I'm sorry." It seemed odd that so few words would have an effect but perhaps Xander had been right in criticizing Rupert's talent for stretching out simple sentiments because something in the young man's icy gaze melted.  
"It's okay." Xander sounded exhausted and as he slumped onto the couch besides Rupert he gave a deep sigh. Worrying about possibly angering the man again Rupert was hesitant in placing an arm round his shoulders, but once he has received confirmation from the young man that it was alright to do so he pulled Xander close and pressed a kiss to the top of his head, inhaling the scent of his hair and the lingering tropical fruits shampoo.

* * *

The nature of the relationship was not instantly repaired by that encounter but it at least prevented an immediate collapse; Xander reassured Rupert he would be holding the event as leverage for as long as he possibly could and that they should try to enjoy the calm before the inevitable 'girly inquisition'. Rupert on his part spent the next two days wondering whether or not to bring up a certain topic of conversation because there was a chance it could tip the scale and end the relationship. Eventually reaching the decision that he would have to mention it some time and it would be better to not leave it too long Rupert broached the subject.

He'd decided to stage the discussion while watching the television, that way it would give them something to redirect their attention to should things go badly. During Star Trek would be a bad idea as attempting to interrupt that show was to Xander as deserving of a good shushing as talking in Church, so Rupert waited until a lazy Sunday evening where a documentary on hornets was sort-of capturing Xander's attention.  
"Now that the girls know about us..." Rupert waited for an affirming 'hm' from the young man in his lap before continuing, "... I was just thinking, now that they know you could start calling me Rupert." There was a long silence from Xander during which the documentary narrator blathered on about mating rituals of hornets, "If you wanted that is," Rupert added after the uncomfortable silence.  
In response Xander shifted upright and took the remote, switching the television off. Turning to look at Rupert he remained silent for a few moments more, his face displaying all the troubled emotions Rupert had been cowardly hoping to deflect towards the television, "Ms. Calender used to call you Rupert."  
The conclusion of Xander's cognitive processes was so unexpected Rupert was a little uncertain how to respond, "Yes, she did."  
"You two were dating and then she..." The young man trailed off, his voice beginning to ring with the anger specially reserved for Angel.  
Rupert had to admit he was surprised by the tactful reason behind Xander's use of his last name, though he wasn't sure why he was so shocked as he had witnessed Xander's sensitive nature many times, particularly so now that he was spending more time in his company, "That's very kind of you Xander," Rupert paused to keep his voice even, "But while I do miss her it should not stop you from being able to call me Rupert too."  
There was another lengthy silence and Rupert prepared himself for another wonderfully bizarre statement from the insane and inscrutable depths of Xander Harris's mind, "If she were still here, would you and I be happening?"  
As unexpected as the question was Rupert was knocked back by the truth in it and it took him a while to recover from it, "Perhaps not, but that doesn't change the fact that we are here and we are together."  
"No, but you see, you and her that was a really good match." There was no lengthy pause this time, the young man appeared to be getting into his stride, "We all saw you together and were like 'They're so right together' Buffy and Willow were practically planning their bridesmaids' dresses. You and me, we don't have that. Buffy and Willow are both still too shocked to form full sentences around me. You and Ms. Calender were both smart and mature and really kinda lame in a Hallmark card kinda way, but I'm not smart or mature and I'm lame in the 'bad guy from the Power Rangers' kind of way. So if I start calling you Rupert then I'm going to get used to it and then suddenly out of nowhere you'll realize exactly how much better than me you could do and then I'll just have to get used to calling you Giles again so I think I'll just save myself the time."  
Rupert sat in the ringing silence of the aftermath of this dramatic outburst simply stunned; he had thought Xander was good at being angry but his skill for self-depreciation left that in the dust. He was so overwhelmed by the speed and content of this rather pessimistic prediction of their future that it took another of those annoying silences to mount a counterargument, "Do you really believe that you're as worthless as that?" There was not enough disbelief in the world to pack into that statement but Rupert packed in as much as he could.  
"I'm done talking about it," Xander had shifted to the other end of the couch, settling low with his arms crossed as opposed to laying with his head in Rupert's lap as he'd been doing. As the documentary was switched back on Rupert realized there were no magic words that could clear away Xander's concepts and if he truly wanted the young man to call him by his first name he would simply have to reassure him every day that this was a relationship he wanted to last and one day Xander would accept that fact.

* * *

With Willow's own homosexual relationship coming to the attention of the Scoobies and the general chaos caused by the Initiative and ADAM Xander and Rupert's relationship and the consequences thereof became a lower priority for the group to deal with but by the time summer rolled round and Sunnydale was once more safe from its latest Big Bad Rupert felt the issue had been accepted, if not yet completely dealt with, by all members of their group.  
With Willow and Buffy now having a lot more free time there were regular guilt-appeasing trips to keep him occupied and with Xander working out of doors a whole lot at the construction site leading to him developing a darker and deeply sexy tan leading to regular lust-appeasing trips to the bedroom Rupert found his concerns of being old dissipating rapidly; though part of him couldn't help but wish he had resolved the issue before spending so much money on his flashy new car.

Yet as the summer drew to a close a final moment arrived to make Rupert feel more joyful than ever. It was a warm evening that had been spent making love luxuriously in bed, now the two men lay sweaty and exhausted atop the covers, too sated and lazy to move except to place tiny kisses on slick skin in random places.  
"Rupert?" The voice was tiny, a tad hesitant and was accompanied with a butterfly kiss to a spot slightly below the man's collar bone.  
"Yes?" Rupert contained the little burst of joy that flourished in his chest.  
"Nothing," Xander replied with a tiny grin, "Just, y'know, I can say it." Rupert's mouth twitched slightly into a smirk before he lay his head back down on the pillow and stroked a hand down Xander's back, "Rupert?" Xander caught the older man's attention again, "I love you." This time Rupert couldn't help the wide grin and slight chuckle.

* * *

Xander wasn't in bed when Rupert woke the next morning which either meant the young man had gotten up early or some kind of demon had broken in silently before they woke, paralyzed Xander and kidnapped him, but of course one was much more likely than the other. Getting out of bed and pulling on his robe Rupert began compiling a list of possible suspects to the kidnapping; the slight smell of burning from downstairs narrowed the list down; most probably some kind of foot soldier, fiery and silent: h'Ashlid perhaps?

It turned out however that the scent of burning was coming from Xander's attempts at a Full English breakfast; somehow Rupert felt the h'Ashlid would not have made quite such a mess.  
"Morning Giles." Xander's voice had a lyrical tilt to it as he placed fried eggs on two plates. Rupert felt a wave of despair run through him – and not just from the state of the eggs – he had thought Xander had finally accepted his request and begun to call him by his first name, "Bon Appetit," Xander grinned widely as he placed one of the plates down in front of Rupert, "No wait, that's not English. How do you say 'here's your food that I probably messed up but please eat it anyway' in English?"  
"Like that I suppose," Rupert replied with a hint of a smile. It appeared Xander was not annoyed with him or planning any sudden break-ups so that at least was a relief.  
"Now how would I say 'This looks really unappetizing would you my marvelous, wonderful and oh so brilliant lover please be gracious enough to cook something that won't make us gag?'"  
"Is there bacon left?"  
"Some."  
"How much exactly."  
"The two strips I managed to drop in the sink by accident while juggling ingredients."  
"Then I believe you would say 'You go get dressed and I'll find the car keys.'"  
"Thanks Giles," Xander smiled sincerely and hopped out of the kitchen, stopping to place a kiss on the older man's cheek before starting his search for the car keys. Ascending to the upper level once more Rupert came to the realization that a deeply intimate moment and common everyday conversation are two very different things and so Xander was not backtracking but had in fact not advanced as far as Rupert had hoped; but he could be a very patient man.

* * *

Opening the shop gave Rupert back a lot of the independence he felt he'd been lacking since the explosion of his former work place, but it had the downside of adding another work schedule to negotiate around to spend time with Xander. However, Xander was gaining independence too and Rupert fell in love with the apartment the young man finally settled on, it being a far cry from the pits he had stayed in during his rebellious years.

As the months went by Xander's new found confidence in himself was clear to see to all, but most of all to Rupert. Now at all times when they were alone Xander would call him Rupert and do so casually and without novelty. But there was one final stumbling block, in front of his friends Xander would lapse back into the use of Giles. Rupert wasn't sure whether it was because Xander was worried about drawing attention to the nature of their relationship as he was still unsure around the others or he was simply picking up on their verbal cues. Yet this final problem was not too much of an irritation and by now Rupert would be quite content even if things never changed beyond this point, it was therefore rather ironic that it was the change that occurred the most suddenly.

* * *

Rupert had become rather used to the sensation of regaining consciousness after a blow to the head but that did not make the event any more fun. As his vision cleared he found Buffy and Xander staring at him with equal expressions of worry.  
"Giles?" Buffy was the first to react to his waking.  
"Rupert?" Though the expressions may have matched the worry was much thicker in Xander's voice.  
"Ru-Rupert?" The man sought to express his surprise that his lover had finally spoken his name in the company of his friends.  
"Oh God! He finally got a concussion," Buffy exclaimed, turning behind her she shouted an instruction, "Willow, phone an ambulance."  
"No, no," Rupert waved a hand in the slayer's direction and sat up, gaining his bearing and realizing they must have transported him from the cemetery to his apartment, "I'm fine." The sudden burst of pain in his head countered his assurance and he pressed a palm to his forehead, wincing.  
"Painkillers," Xander supplied pressing two pills into his free hand and turning to grab a glass of water.  
"You called me Rupert," He clarified the meaning of his earlier, more incoherent statement as he threw back the pills.  
"Sure did," Xander agreed cheerfully, "Rupert, Rupes, Rupey."  
"Just Rupert will do."  
"Whatever ya say Ripper Roo."  
Glaring at his young lover Rupert wondered why he has wanted this so badly, a moment late Xander pressed a quick kiss to his lips and then began to chastise him on the importance on actually ducking when someone shouts 'Duck!' and, smiling slightly, he remembered.


End file.
